WALKING TODAY with CONCERN

• I am feeling better re cold which also helps me feel better emotionally
• I spoke on msn to David's eldest daughter- age 48- for the first time since papa's service- we are not estranged but she has severe addiction problems which keeps her away- sigh- she started to cry and had to leave THE Computer but her youngest daughter talked to me- I told her/them how much papa did love them - she does not have access to the msn often but was using it at some one's house
• I thought that was important for them to have that message in their hearts so that if the addictions get too strong she/they have some thing to cling too- I would not want them to die with out that knowledge and I do fear for their lives - sigh-
• all of the step children have severe addictions and when they are on..........they do not talk to me until they decide to try and go off.........again but this is very hard for them unless they have rehab.......
• I have told them all that they cannot come here until their addictions are under control 100% because when they are not under control these kids can be dangerous and this was also papa's rule-
• they are all older- 50- 48 and 46
• they do get angry at me part of the time because I will not take them in......
• they live far enough away that they cannot just come over--.
• it is so hard to have children - no matter what age living in such circumstances and the circumstances are terrible- the grand kids are in safe homes so do not live in the conditions but I fear that they saw too much as little ones..
• I wanted to them to know that papa David prayed often for them and he loved unconditionally even if he had rules that he enforced-
• I think it is important for children to know that they are loved and were loved-- they did not see their dad often due to the circumstances but they did communicate over the phone- and sometimes we had the police go find them on the streets so we knew if they were still alive- the police cannot tell where they are but were/are kind enough to say that they saw them and therefore there alive- sigh- this was hard for papa to do ---
• my problem is at my age I have to be careful how far I let them enter my life due to the circumstances- and yet, keep the love of Jesus open in my heart and into their heart-
• it is hard to even tell the stories but I tell you now because I need prayer warriors who will stand with me -
• I will seldom update this blog note but I will tell you what miracles occur and also thank for praying
• hugs from Meme