the last kiss....a joy in sorrow

• I was sitting here remembering our last kiss- papa hubby was very weak and quiet but would move his head slightly when I spoke- I let him rest in the morning as I knew his strength was gone-he was not in pain and his breathing was quiet and he did not have to struggle......he spoke no words except with his hand---we were both weary as I had stayed with him all night and God gave me the desire of my heart to be with him when he left this world...
• God gave David Papa the desires of his heart also
• when he knew that the cancer was terminal and that his miracle would be going home to his Lord = he said that he just wanted to be here and then not be here - just a quiet exit-he was a very quiet man .....and left us at 1:15 in the afternoon with his favorite cooking show on the food channel- after the cancer took his strength and some of his thinking he fell in love with the food channel - he said it was easy for him to watch someone cooking and just one person talking- this is a funny side story to his journey but before he had to go to hospital for his last time he had the tv on for 2 weeks straight and on the cooking channel- he would doze off and wake up and it was a comfort for him- one time the grand kids thought he was sleeping and switched channels- he opened his eyes and told them to put the tv back his Iron Chef- we all laughed as there was not way papa was giving up his cooking--I slept on the couch and learned that I can sleep with the tv on--we were in the same room as I set out living room up as a hospice so he could remain home a long as possible-
• we had the whole morning to ourselves other than the doctor coming in once and a nurse came to at noon help me put drops in his eyes as they were so dry
• I was going to run home and change and come right back so I gave him his kiss and told where I was going-
• he could not move much except for his checks would pucker in when I kissed him- just a tiny pucker but I knew he was kissing me too
• I got ready to leave and then went back to kiss him again but there was no pucker because the angels came while I was putting on my coat
• he had a precious peaceful death and I remember how happy he looked
• he just looked like all the cares of this world have been lifted of his shoulders which of course -is it what happened- Jesus took his burdens
• Miss Ashley told me the other that she does not miss papa all the time now because she knows where he is.......and that she knows that some day she will see her papa again-
• she is glad that we spent the last morning alone but together - she is a brave girl and I know that the Lord is her comfort because her papa meant everything to her- they were special friends --
• I know that God gave us those last hours together just to hold hands and say '' see you later, friend- we never said good-bye because we did not feel his death was an ending----------but a beginning for both us.
• when I see papa hubby again - he will be walking, and talking, and seeing, and hearing, and although there is no marriage in heaven I know that he will be waiting for me at the Eastern gate.
• he knew that he was loved and I knew that I was loved and really that is all anyone needs to know......
• I know where he is........
• sometimes I have good moments now- I see in him in pictures in my mind...but some times it is hard to hear his voice but I can remember the words he said.....
• I can hear him tell me'''that every thing is going to be alright-"" and I am starting to believe that in the grief ''every thing is going to be alright.
• huggles from Meme