our last date

a year has gone by since papa and I had our last date- we went out for supper and just a chat over water- we don't drink coffee--LOL- and it was a nice quiet date and papa as always made it special- he always had good things to say to me about me even though sometimes I did look like a bag lady-
I missed him this night and I am glad I have this memory- I remember that
the grand kids came up before we went out for supper= Miss Sidney was a princess and Ashley was just taking her around- Miss Ashley is sort of Miss Sidney's other mama - I remember papa taking pictures and giving them both a toony-(which is 2 dollars in Canada) and I had some socks for them- we did not give out the candy thing with the grands as we knew they would have more than enough- and were already sweet enough........
while we were eating they popped into the cafe too to say hi and find more treats- here the town is small enough for all the stores to give out candy etc. to the kids -
I think now that this date has come and nearly gone I will be able to move on with the rest of the story- I think I stuck my self on this date knowing that it would be very bitter sweet-
I know that I wrote about this once before but I felt the need to write about it again - I will probably repeat things now and then but mostly because of senior moments --
Sometimes all we have is memory, that sometimes they are what gets us through, and so we are careful before letting them go....
hugs from Meme

what if??

• when I started to blog David's cancer journey I knew that it would be hard
• and there would be things that one really does not want to face
• (on the journey there was no time to face anything
• except life as it was )
• but things that did happen-( some good, some bad and some ugly)
• and of course, there is that feeling of ''what if??
• such and such had been done or not done--
• then what would have been the out come
• would his dying have been easier for him and me?
• or maybe he would not have died (?)
• of course. the facts are
• we do not know as we can only
• see and know what was .........
• and also, there are the ''what if........things that happened which
• were blessings-- so if they had not happened
• things again would have be different
• so I guess what I am trying to say
• there are no anwers to the ''what if-s''
• because we had to or did accept God was in control
• we then have to believe that there really are no
• what if-s except in our thoughts
• and yes, the bad what if-s suck but we could not
• accept the good ''what if-s '' with out accepting the bad
• either God was in control or He was not.....
• I have to accept that He was in control
• if I believe in Him
• and every thing that did happened was/is
• beyond my understandings but in His control
• I know that you will start to see the
• good ''what if-s as you continue
• to read David's story
• my goal is to heal and also
• to share the story even though it is
• beyond my understanding-
• I do not know if I will be come stronger
• or not....right now, I am weak but
• perhaps that is where God wants me to be
• for when we are weak
• He is strong
• the facts are that David's cancer changed me
• and his death changed me
• and I am no longer that person
• who I used to be......
• as I write out the story
• maybe I will find some answers to
• my heart's cry which is
• WHY, GOD, WHY=??
• but if I do not find the answer
• I will still know that God was in control
• and that He is in control
• and I will have to silence the ''what if-s.

huggles me. Meme who really does not know who she is right now ..

last November with blessings

• even though David was sick and getting weaker and needed more rest-
• he still kept his spirits by doing this and that
• one of the things he did was make Christmas candy canes cut out from wood
• to decorate our fence and yard
• it was very hard for him to do as he had to bend over and cut them
• out with a jig saw-
• I tried to talk him out of making them and waiting until he was better
• but he was determined and cut out 10 canes which were about five
• feet tall maybe 6 inches wide
• ----he cut and sanded outside as we had a break in our
• winter weather-
• and brought them into the house to paint
• every morning he would sit the table and paint them
• he changed each cane pattern so they would be more interesting
• and of course, painted them red and -white or is that white and red?
• I knew he was in pain as he would sit holding his tummy
• but would not give up....
• and when he had a few done he took them outside and hung them on our fence
• they are still there and have been all seasons-
• there is a reason why that I will share in a later blog
• yes, we had some good times together
• we would rest in the afternoon checking out the old
• shows on tv that we watched in the seventies
• we were happy to be together
• David did go to bed quite early
• and was no longer well enough to walk the dog
• he also went to his eye specialist and got
• an excellent report - his eyes were in top condition-
• he would also sit at his chair and little table
• and copy out the new testament
• word for word as he found it easier to get into his heart
• he has several note books of his writing that I
• gave to Miss Ashley
• Meals were a very hard thing to try and make
• as he could eat so little and most things upset
• him immediately- we did simple soups and toast
• most of the time- I was not worried about his
• salt intake as he just needed food to keep
• his blood sugar up-
• I thank God for that month as it will always
• be in my heart and we made many memories
• and had wonderful chats.......
• good night and next email will be from December
• huggles me, Meme who loved/loves papa David

last Novenber 2007

• I think last November was the best and worst month of our marriage
• David became sicker and was sick every day- horrid sick
• almost like a terrible flu day after day
• we only went out when we had too
• we were together 24/7 which was the good part
• and he started to let me take care of him as
• often he was too tired or sick to do it himself
• he was a good patient - maybe because he was so sick
• we rested and talked watched old tv shows
• and kept each other calm
• we both knew that something was wrong
• because David started to loose weight rapidly and
• was unable to eat more than a spoon of food here or there
• I also started a small janitress job at the church
• which was a good thing and a God thing
• we did go down every day and papa
• struggled to help the fellows at the church
• as they were doing some room repairs
• it was good for him to feel needed even
• though he was so sick
• the pastor came to me and mentioned his concern
• not only of papa's health but also re his doctor
• I did not know but when David had gone
• to the doctor in October - the doctor was quite rude
• and hard on David about coming in with new complaints
• I was shocked and when I asked David why he did not tell
• me , he told me he did not want to worry - sigh-
• I watched him become sicker and weaker
• and finally at the end of November
• I made a doctor's appointment and told
• papa I was going with him and if the doctor
• had any rude comments he would have to deal with me
• I am not sure if papa was more scared of the doctor or of me
• I am just a quiet little thing until I see some one being
• treated wrong
• so we went and yes, I told the doctor every thing and
• about papa loosing 30 pounds in a month etc- etc
• the doctor did hear me as I was very clear
• and did decide to set up some tests for David
• he tried to talk David into taking insulin but
• I questioned the doctors knowledge re the insulin
• and told him we wanted a specialist to set up
• the insulin etc. as I no longer trusted the fact
• that David was a diabetic as he had no symptoms
• other than a small raise in his blood sugar and
• also the diabetic nurse had questions and so did
• his eye doctor - they felt that David was not
• showing any symptoms and need further care
• and I got the appointment with the specialist
• but of course- we had to start a waiting game for
• the tests and the other doctor- sigh
• but at least this doctor admitted that something
• was not right and he did not know what it was
• oh, how I wish I could have talked dear papa
• into going to another doctor sooner
• as he had had many symptoms over the years
• but he seemed to
• like this doctor so much- perhaps because he
• felt he knew him and David did not like going to the
• doctor=
• I am so thankful the pastor could see more
• than the doctor could-
• I saw things too but because I was with him
• all the time things slip past me -
• sigh- I knew papa was not a complainer and I
• also the doctor that and let him know that I
• now expected to have something done-
• we did go home with some hope ......

I will continue some of papa's November in another post but I just needed to start

some where - this was the hardest part of our November- and it was barely a year ago-

we had many blessings during November that got us through the worse of our times and the best of our times-and it was the beginning of hard times-

The Lord was our Shepherd

widowing along

• being a widow has not stopped my joy moments that come
• it would be fun to share them with papa too but I can share some with you-
• joy moments are those little things that happen
• that makes your heart sing( I stole this thought from another sweet granny)

1. watching Miss Sidney laugh and hearing her too- she has a silly almost haunting

laugh which makes her rock and roll all over- she cannot contain her self and ends

up making Oma laugh at her and with her- she is the baby grandkid and has her heart mashed into Oma's heart

2. hearing stories about papa David that I missed while he was off on an outing- how good he was to folks - the things he did for them - and he never came home to brag as he was often busy finding some thing more to do for some one-he was that kind of guy--

3. just every day things that happen to bring joy- sometimes I miss the joy when I have my head in the clouds- mourning papa but I know that this grief will fade and I will keep on doing the Father's business-

THERE IS JOY IN MOURNING

the beginning of the end

am getting closer to the diagnosis date of David's cancer and I find that now I just want toget on with our story- I am telling the story from the ending to the beginning as I can only lookbackwards- all that has been happened has been said and done- I find that I need to hurry nowas I feel his story is bursting frommy heart-It is a story that needs to be told for my healing and also perhaps it will help someone else someday not suffer what we did-Soon there will be hard things said here that will be a shock to read and you will wonderhow in a rich country like Canada where we all have the freedom to medical care and also some of the best medical care in the world that someone could be allowed to die from not only cancer but mistakes-Some of you will question why I do not take David's case to court and the one simple reason is that David forgave all the doctors and the blunders and he accepted them as God's will. And now so do I- this was a difficult decision to make for both of us but we kept saying that God was in control and the Lord was our shepherd- We realized that we could not have it both ways - if we believe that God is /was in control then we had to accept the good, the bad and the ugly-In our province we cannot sue anyone or use the information in court if we forgive- it is in the fine print that most of us do not read-LOLDavid knew that his life was heading towards his death and he did not want any weights of unforgivenness pulling him down- all he wanted was his story told and something to be done to make sure that this medical treatment and care does not continue to happen- I will be sharing this story next year with our minister of health in our province with the idea that he can help make changes -there will be no enquiry but he is willing to hear-so know that so I shall be righting some tough stuff but also there are many blessings whichLord bestowed on us during our cancer walk-pray for me as I need strength telling and also grieving-I can and will do this to honor papa David-

me today on tuesday

me today was ok but have had a lot of pain and then of course, taking medication upsets the tummy
and also makes me feel weaker- sigh
but Miss Ashley and I walked down town and it was fairly nice outside with our winter jackets on-
Miss Ashley got a tattoo today- she is 18 and can do these things now - she got a purple cancer ribbon
and the name ''papa'' beside it- it is on her shoulder and it is about 1 inch or less - I realize that some folks may not understand
a christian girl doing this but she loved her papa so much and can also use this as a reminder
to people that cancer really is out there- it will not show all the time unless she is swimming or wearing a backless
dress- I supported her as I knew how much it meant to her to honor her ''papa'' in some way- and I know that God knows
her heart and shares her tears --you can see the ribbon on my site by my name or close to it-

other wise we did not a lot other than dishes and 1 load of laundry-

A BLANKET OF HOPE

Today, I went on my little outing to the thrift store
I find books that I can afford there and right now,
I often read to relax and just escape me for a while
I found a beautiful new patch work duvet cover
new and unwashed for four dollars
it has wonderful spring colors in it- soft and comforting
not sure of the pattern yet but I think may be
""stepping ladders""
it reminds me that although fall has arrived
with a long cold winter to follow
THAT SPRING WILL FOLLOW
I feel it is a sign from God .......
to remind methat I do have hope ----
not a message from papa as I know that
he cannot send me a message
but God's word tells me of God's
hope for me and
it is a hope for me- a new hope
papa David has already received his hope :-)
and now God knows that I need my
hope renewed and He gave me His assurance-
I know that God loves me because He says so..
yes, I need to get through winter but now
I will remember after the winter comes spring
after the rain comes the rainbow
I know that some of you cannot
see your hope or
feel your hope but because of circumstances
but
let me assure you that God is your hope
and that He will continue to bless you
and keep you-
and that more than anything
know that He loves you=
I have put the cover on my bed and
when I come to my room alone now
I am reminded that I do have hope
even in my deepest grief.
huggles me, Meme

the prince

• I have always loved to read and as a kid, I read many fairy tales
• and also was taught to be a wife and mother and keeper of the home
• so I always dreamed of being a princess who would find her prince
• and live happily ever after....well,
• I did find my prince although he was not tall, dark, and handsome-
• he was short, Blondie and handsome- LOL
• we played house for a year and a bit and then
• our first baby came and I woke up
• to unmade beds, dirt dishes and baby bottles
• and the real story
• but we had fun and decided we could add
• another child to the nest so we finally
• settled down with two daughters who were both tomboys
• and we made a home and a family
• we were most often poor and learned how
• to cook hamburger in 101 different ways
• we had a normal dysfunctional family
• and when our nest became empty we had
• a lot of distress until we discovered
• each again and also found that we had time
• to be a prince and a princess and turn our
• home into a castle with Jesus as our king
• we did live happily ever after and
• now that papa has gone to his eternal life
• and I am missing our ever after here I
• am so glad that he was a prince
• who made me feel like a queen=
• I am going to a grief group now and
• for homework we are supposed to write our
• loved one a letter but I am not comfortable
• writing to papa David so I have decided not too
• I know that we do not talk to the dead nor
• do they talk to us as they are not over
• ''there''
• waiting to send us some message telling us
• to let go....
• so I guess I will have to go in with
• out doing my homework
• quite their way of right
• but I did think I would write this instead
• and share it with you all
• I loved my prince
• and I thank God that we had an ever after
• here on earth and we will have a eternal
• ever after when my work here is done.
• huggles me, Meme aka Oma

our last supper......

Last October 31 was the last time that papa and I went out together for supper= he was not well but he still wanted to go- we always go out that evening as our Dogman can not handle Halloween- too much knocking on doors and the kids frighten him- he gets very sick and was in the doggie hospital the first year we had him so the vet suggested that he not go under that stress again-
I can remember where we went and what we had- papa had his usual veal cutlets with gravy on the side and his french fries= I knew that papa was not feeling well and suggested we just turn off the lights and not answer the door but he wanted to keep with our tradition- which was 10 years old-
We had a nice time but David could not finish his meal and so we sat there for a while chatting- we thought , of course that there would be other suppers- Miss Sidney came in to the cafe dressed like a princess with her sisters so we were content to see them and not too worried about them missing any candy at our house- their bags were quite full =other little kids came in the cafe too so we sat back and enjoyed watching them-
I am so glad that it was a night of memories-content memories- the Lord gave us the blessing of that last supper that was good to our hearts- hmmm- maybe not as healthy for our hearts but still wonder filled- I even remember where we sat-
I am getting closer to the beginning of David's journey with cancer now and while it is hard to remember ; it is also healing me- I did not have much time to share during his illness but I have not forgotten- some of the dates will be off but most of the special events I have down in my heart-
Some of the things that I will be writing will be hard to write as all the memories are not good and many are very painful- but I do want to say that some of those painful memories were blessings from the Lord- you will understand that statement more as you read our story-
The supper is a good good memory now but I doubt that I would have remembered it if our lives had not been turned inside out shortly afterwards.
Please make memories every day as we do not know when something will be the last time and we need to remember those last times as good -
see you soon= huggles me, Meme

we had hope

Hope was the one thing papa and I had through out his cancer journey-
hope in the Lord and for a while we spelled hope--chemo
and when the chemo hope ran out we just sat back
knowing that our hope was eternal no matter what others or the doctors
said-even when we cried and laughed we kept our hope=
it was all we had and in the end; hope was all we needed -

I wrote this today from my heart and wanted to share it with everyone

remember your hope is in the Lord
no matter what the circumstances say
huggles me, Meme

a new day

• I got up this morning and decided that I would have to make the day good
• I did keep busy and also managed to talk to people
• and I just keep putting one foot in front of the other
• and now it is the end of the day and
• I can say
• that I had a good ''good day.''
• I need to go to rest now as the day
• was filled with coming and going
• but ''it was a good thing.''
• tomorrow is a new day again and that too
• is a ''good thing''.

huggles me, Meme

A FEW BLUE DAYS

just when I thought that I had a handle on my grief; it fell off-
that last two days have just been so hard to face from moment to moment-
I have to make myself put on foot in front the other- the weather is not too cheerful either- and perhaps I did wear my physical body and my emotions out on Monday-but I thought I would never feel this bad again-
I am still glad we had Monday as it was making new memories-
I read where grief does slip back in because it must finish-
I liked it when the grief was just sitting there but the up and down feelings seem to cause me more pain-partly because it is more unexpected and comes at unexpected times-
I have to remind my self that God is in control- and I need to be patient with me -
I know that tomorrow is a new day and I will get up and rejoice in it- even if I cry I will rejoice- thank you for praying for me

• huggles me, Meme

THANKSGIVING DAY

• we had our Canadian thanksgiving this week end and
• today we had dinner at my house
• a good and hard day with out papa David
• but Miss Ashley stepped in to help and did
• all the things he would have taken care of such as:
• peeling the potatoes and
• mashing them and
• cutting up the turkey with an electric knife and all
• fingers are still intact :-)
• she helped straighten the house and
• supervised the boy who is a friend after
• enlisting his help
• she is a stuffer when cleaning with some things so
• not sure if she will make it into her room
• tonight=LOL
• but house looked fine and she shut her door
• both daughters came and their kids
• Oma said no to ''take outs '' this year-
• as one daughters the kids have not
• been coming to family productions over the last several years
• but always wanted a meal brought home to them and friends
• and it always hurt papa that they could not take
• a little time a few times a year to come and say hi
• and guess what-- they came- this is something
• their mom should be insisting on but they
• like to do what they want too like all kids.......
• I do not expect grand kids to come all the time
• but I do think that it is just respect that they
• can come over now and then
• they were not even showing up for their Christmas gifts
• it is not a choice for the other daughter's kids (she would not allow it)
• and that
• is why they know Oma- kids sometimes need training
• to appreciate other people and they did have
• fun here with out mommy playing interference and running supper
• home to them....
• it is hard to have a family function if everyone decides
• they want ''take out'' instead of coming over.
• so Oma stuck with what ''she said'' and
• everyone was happy...........
• we missed papa but we did ok
• I had a couple of meltdowns today when
• I was home alone but managed well with
• the kids here............
• now everyone has gone home to their beds....
• I had a happy day and introduced a new
• tradition
• and I am thankful to know papa David
• is with his Shepherd-and that we had a family day
• huggles me, Meme aka Oma

only yesterday

It seems like last year's September and October were only yesterday- Our world was safe and content- David was starting to have sick days but they were only a day at a time and the doctor kept referring his health to diabetes- we had gone to a throat specialist due to his lump in the throat and he did a scope and assured us that there was no cancer there- he said that David had calcium deposits on his throat probably due to silent acid reflux- that is a reflux that can sneak up on you and you don't have heart burn- so a prescription was given and taken and although it did help the lump remained- we were happy with news mainly because David had been trying to explain this lump to doctors for over a year and they generally wrote it off because they could not see it or feel it-
-David also had his eye checks by two doctors and they could not see any sign of diabetes damage in his eyes which meant that his diabetes was under good control-
so although he did not feel well we were happy with our medical news- and on sick days we used gravel as prescribed.
David was often very tired and so we stopped most of our activities and only shopped when we needed too- he still managed to volunteer a few hours a day at the church= the bath rooms were being renovated by the men- but I could see though that things were starting to pile up in his life- he was not able to complete the fall yard work and often went to bed early- again we just decided perhaps age was catching up to him and that with some rest and relaxation he would be renewed- Neither of us were too worried because we knew after the winter would come spring-

I am glad now we had that almost calm before the storm as it gave us time together just chatting and dreaming- we planned a long holiday traveling through Canada and other short trips to places we had always wanted to go- we planned some smart things and dreamed some foolish things but we still believed spring was coming-

We continued to have our week-enders (grand kids) with us but I did notice that Papa David did not have the energy for the kids so we just kept them for shorter hours-
I remember those months now as our golden months- months that we will never get back so I thank God we had them together-now it is fall again with winter close behind and I have to believe that spring will come again.

to be continued...
huggles me, Meme ( Papa's wife)

October 9- anniversary

On Thursday- October 9 - I celebrated my 42 anniversary- it was a bitter sweet day as I missed hubby and our own personal celebration that we had always done faithfully together each year.
And I finally =felt that I had said a good bye that was ''good bye, my friend-I miss you and love and I was so blessed to share part of your life and my life together with you-
On past excursions when we went places separately
I remembered how we both watched and waved to each other beyond the ''out of sight- Now I have simply stopped waving as I know that I can accept ''his leaving and he that he is out of sight, but only for a moment of our time. Although he cannot come to me I will some day go to him.
It is with a heavy heart that I can now say this but I also know that his trip is finished and now I must continue with out him on my journey- He will continue to be in my heart and thoughts daily but no longer with wishful thinking but with the knowledge that he is gone- He left me with the good Shepherd and wonderful memories to share with my/his family.
His gift was to make me ''feel loved - to know love and to be able to receive my love in return- something that we all want to have and to feel- and need = and he gave his love with out conditions.
He was a gift from God and although he is out of my physical vision and touch - he is in my heart vision and his love touches me.
I shall continue to grieve for him and write of him and to follow the good Shepherd. - I will have tears of sorrow and days of mourning but I can again feel God's love- that He slips it into my life whenever I let Him- and so I will make this journey with the Lord, and I too will go some day to the place that He has prepared for me-
Thank you, God for giving me papa David for 42 years=

thanksgiving weekend

• here in Canada we are celebrating our ''thanksgiving'' day on Monday
• we will have a large dinner- Meme bought a turkey and will
• try to spend some time teaching with the g'kid so next year she can
• so her own turkey
• she picked it out with some supervision and now
• we need it to thaw so we can cook a dinner on Monday
• we have so much in our country= our province--our town and our
• home to be thankful for
• it will be our first big meal with out papa David and it will be
• interesting to see who will carve the turkey
• we will miss him and we are all thankful having such a wonderful
• man in our lives-
• will be back later as I do have more share
• soft thankful hugs and God bless everyone

Limes into Lemons

My 18 year old grand daughter is living with me now so that she can work and also learn the fine art of taking care of herself;;;
she is half woman and half child.. but willing to learn. I have been teaching her to shop and cook some simple healthy meals =
I sent her shopping for a weeks groceries for her and me and on occasion have the boy who is a friend as a guest= ( he is like feeding an army so we can only afford to invite him now and then and his mother feeds him so he is not going starve)
back to the groceries= she did well for a starter shopper and she will learn from her mistakes and she will soon be buying her own groceries=she shares the cost of the groceries now but I generally go with her-
she bought 2 limes and left them on the counter for a long time- at least a week and finally I asked her if she was going to use the limes- she said ''yes' as soon as they ripen into lemons- I looked at her in laughing shock and then explained to her that limes are limes and lemons are lemons and one cannot become the other........once I explained this to her- she had a good laugh and we used our limes in place of lemons for the salmon that she bought-
I think that some times we think that we can ripen our attitudes from bad to good but we cannot- bad is bad and good is good. We have to replace our bad attitudes with Christ given thoughts and we need to start with our hearts where the fruit of the spirit will ripen.

huggles me, Meme

do not be discouraged

• one of the things that I prayed about when starting this blog was:


• was that I did not want to discourage any one because


• of David's death-from his cancer


• it is important because many people have cancer now and they


• are struggling with the diagnosis and chemo and or radioation etc


• and learning to live with cancer


• I want you to know that David did live with his cancer


• and we always spoke of him as living with cancer rather than


• dying with cancer-


• his cancer was not discovered until he was in stage 4 plus and


• involved his pancrease - upper bowel and stomach and there


• was no surgery that could be done to remove the cancer as


• the surgery -in it self- would have killed him immediately


• also his cancer was too extended for radioation and
  
• he could only have pallitive chemo as normal chemo could


• not decrease the cancer but the palliative chemo


• could possibley slow the speed and spread of the cancer down


• the doctors could give him no hope but


• we had hope in the Lord with the promise of eternal life


• and as you will see in later posts that the Lord


• blessed David indeed=


• I pray that anyone with cancer who reads this
• blog will remember that........


• he did not die in vain or with out hope


• keep your hope as many cancers are healed and do not give


• up your treatments or your hope-
  
• God was in control and walked with us through the valley
• he gave us nearly 42 years together and left us with memories
• to hold that I want to share with you....
• yes, I cry and rage at times and my joy is painful
• but I know that God had a purpose for every day that He
• gave to David
• we believed that God could heal David and when he did not we
• still believed God
• we did cry and beg and promise God many times but we always
• asked God according to His will-
• so please remember that cancer is also a beginning and death is not
• the end
• I love you- friends
• and I thank you for walking with me
• it is so good to know that I am not walking alone
• huggles me, Meme aka Oma

God said no.......

When my husband was given his diagnosis re terminal cancer our first reaction was to pray against the cancer and believe that God was healing him- it took us weeks to finally say to God= what ever, Lord, we are willing to go through this trial if you are with us- it was hard to let go of our faith in the healing and just believe what God said......we both struggled with our faith finally realizing that our faith could not be placed in our faith but in God- we finally knew one day that there was no turning back to just faith but we also had to believe ---- the promises of Psalm 23 and John 3:16 Letting go- of papa was the hardest thing that I ever had to do because I had to give him to God to do according to His will and not mine/ours- I still cling to ''wanting papa David here even though I know he is now made whole and that he always did belong to God- I am not happy that I lost papa David to the cancer but I praise God that he won his eternal life just as his favorite verse- John 3:16 says-For David so believed that God gave his only begotten son and if David believed he would/does have eternal life- It is worth the grief to know where David is.....and I praise God that when David was lost he was found through God's amazing grace
huggles me, Meme

Monday thoughts

I am here just to say that I am praying
for each of you and I know that Jesus loves you-
what a wonderful thing to feel and know that He is taking care
of our needs - sometimes my trust is weak and yet
He still holds me in the palm of his hand--
I send hugs to you all because of Him we can be together
across the world and share our prayers and our thoughts
with out being a terrorized- there is a country but I forget the name
where it is illigal to say the name of Jesus- when I heard that I knew then that we
are indeed blessed-
huggles me, Meme

a sunday note

• little grand daughter spent the night with Oma
• so it was nice to have her to get up too
• we went to church
• and it was a dinner after
• so Oma did not have to even cook for the kids
• and then her dad came for her
• and big kid went to work
• and Oma just rested
• my cold is still here so I am off to bed
• early for me with a box of kleenex and some chocolate
• it was a good thank filled sunday
• see you tomorrow
• huggles me, Meme aka Oma

Friday thanks .................

• thank you.Lord
• for bring ing the sun so that I could walk to the bank and stay warm
• and for giving the money needed to pay my monthly bills
• for a grand daughter who is a comfort and help to me
• for friends who stand with me in my sorrow
• for a small job that helps me keep my mind
• for your salvation
• for the opportunity to write out my thanks

huggles from your child, Meme

thinking out loud

It was a beautiful day here with sunshine and heat-- I had a quiet day and a few sad moments- one of the things I never knew was that once you are a widow you have to remove the spouse's name off of so many things- today was insurance for the house and you also have to bring a copy of the death certificate( every where you go) - I did get there and just sat and cried- I could not even make the check out and was blessed by the lady just doing what she had too and writing everything out for me so all I had to do was ''sign '' my name- ouch- as it hurt hard today- I still have a few more things that I need to take hubby's name off and I need pray for strength-
- other wise the day and my journey are ok-
and I will be back tomorrow
huggles me, Meme

A WINNING WEDNESDAY

• Sunshine all day
• cold is getting better so less
• kleenex
• went for a walk
• Dogman spent a lot of time outside enjoying today
• left overs for supper
• got every thing ready for the bank- including bills
• have enough money to pay those bills

have a wonder tomorrow and I will catch you here-

huggles me, Meme aka Oma