Lonely tears for family

• I think I miss papa most at the times when I need spiritual comfort in the human form-- I know the Lord is with me -and I do feel his comfort but I miss the praying together and talking of the Lord and his blessings etc.
• our family - sigh- none of them are Christians or following the Lord except Miss Ashley is in learning- she had accepted the Lord but was raised in a non christian home - so had/has a strong influence from there and her mom still makes her life quite tough- she is living here of age- I would not let her come until then -
• sometimes I feel in my heart I just want someone to talk Jesus talk with me-
• my daughters do know the way from youth but they have both made up their own rules and do not think twice to tell me that I am ''over doing this christian thing' when they are angry- they do not come here often and will not stay long-I do not condemn them and I love them and I pray- I think that they do feel conviction though as they were the right way- sigh
• papa and I had faith and belief and prayer etc. together but also alone from our families-
• the cancer did bring our families to us to witness
• but now there is much blame towards God about papa hubby dying-
• sigh--they do not understand papa's suffering or his death as a good thing- I hope you understand what I mean about it being a God good thing-
• I try to be cheerful and filled with joy but this burden of my family is great-
• this is beyond my grief for papa hubby-
• papa did have a salvation service at his memorial service- this was at his request as he wanted his family to hear the message- please pray for the seeds planted
• it is very hard to have so many non Christians in the family as I do become lonely- as even many of the outings I cannot not attend-
• I do have some church family and christian blog friends and christian lady group friends so I know I am not alone-
• and that is why I ask for pray
• one huge blessing is that one daughter did let papa take the g'kids to church so he took Miss Ashley for 18 (eight teen) years and added the two other sisters as they came- the daughter will let me take the other two if I take them over night but right now I am not strong enough in health to take them all the time- the other daughter would not let the kids come here due to our christian influence - sigh
• please pray with me that our family will be part of God's family
• hugs from Meme