oh Happy day--------

• December 18--- when I get up Papa is already sitting at his spot at the table- he no longer sits in his favorite chair as he needs to sit up straight- too much pain - I can see he is weaker and his color is more yellow- he tells me that he is scared as his urine looks black- sigh- he needs comfort and I do not even know what to say except that I love him and I am getting him help today
• I call the clinic and tell the girl I am bring David in at 1 o'clock and I want him to see the doctor first- before any of his appointments- she says ok - we go at one o'clock- I worry about David driving as he has not been eating or drinking for the last two days- he would take his diabetic pill with a small rice pudding that you get in the store - sometimes he did not even finish the pudding- the doctor comes in and I am fire-----I told him plainly that he was to do something today- that David needs help now-
• He looks at David and says that he will be right back- 5 minutes go by and papa is worried that the doctor is mad at him- I assure him that he had best not be and if he does not do something I am going to get someone to drive papa to the city emergency- I can see he is close to an emergency- the doctor does come back and tells us to pack clothes for two days and to head for the emergency in the city- he hands me 4 pages to give to someone there and tells us he told them that David is coming
• we leave and now we need to go find a driver- we go to the church as we know it is Seniors day- David can barely walk and I run in there and ask for help- I can tell that I am close to a break down as my voice is almost failing me- there is a ''Bob'' there that we barely know as he is new and he says right away-- I will take him in..........we go home to pack for two days and we decide that I will come up later-- I can not remember why we even made that decision now- I just have no idea why ........I can remember telling papa that I would be up soon and that he was not to worry- I would find someone to bring in home in a few days - it was a horrid good bye as neither one of us wanted to say ''good bye'' but we both knew he had to go-------the Bob driver came for papa and as he was leaving his brother Bob came- I could tell he was shocked when he saw how far papa had slipped in two weeks - they go and I babble to brother Bob that papa will be ok now that we are getting him help= I am sure I was try assure him as much as myself
• I call the kids and first I get Miss Sidney on the phone and mommy is out but she writes a note for mommy but I have to help her with the word hospital- she is happy that papa will now get better as she wants him home for Christmas - I call the other daughter's house and have to leave a message with the kids there too-
• Ashley calls and she has to go to work and her mom decided she cannot take me to the city but is sending the boy who is a friend- sigh- thank God that Ashley had a boy who was a friend as he and she really stood in the gap for me- the daughters just did not want to deal with it or help with anything-this was one of the hardest things for papa and I to face - that our girls would let us down when we needed them the most- we shed many tears over the months to follow -
• the boy who is a friend take me to the city- when we get there David is still in the emergency ward and only one of us can go and see him at a time- after we get past the guard--LOL- the guard(s) were wonderful to both of us- the boy decided he would have a rest in his car and the guards promised to keep an eye out for both us-
• at last, there is papa David - sitting in a Coffey chair hooked up to 3 bags of stuff?? later I would find out one was morphine- one was antibiotics and one to hydrate him- he looks good- you can see he had got some of the dehydration built back up and the pain is better- he looks happy- because finally he knows there is someone to help him- sigh- how terrible to become so sick that you are happy to be in a hospital
• the nurses are wonderful and one takes off to find him something that he can eat- they brought him supper but as the nurse- yuck- she said that people donate money for the nurses to buy the patients some good food if they are there for a long time- sadly they have no bed yet for him but they assured him that he is not going to have to leave-
• we visit for a couple of hours and then I realize I should rescue the boy who is a friend- Ashley sent up a gift for papa but the nurse ask me to take it home until tomorrow as emergency rooms are too safe for stuff -
• papa calls later as the nurse says it is fine to use his cell phone- he is content even though he still has no bed at 10 o'clock but he will have a scan the next day and the doctor assured him that he will be there for him and get things straightened out=
• I copied the papers that the doctor sent with David( they were not in a envelope and the doctor gave me permission to have the copies-
• there it is in black and white--- dated August 18- and marked important--this gentleman has pancreatic cancer and needs immediate care with an oncologist - then we have the second paper dated December 11-- urgent is stamped twice- this gentleman needs immediate care as his pancreatic cancer has now left the area- the third paper is impossible to understand in my layman's language but indicates that there is no doubt that the patient has pancreatic cancer and the forth piece is a letter from the doctor here asking for David to have care at the city emergency - dated Dec-i8 and this is what it said at the bottom of the letter---'unsigned by the doctor-- I wish some one could explain that to me.........I have never seem anyone sign a letter like that before- sigh-
• awe-- but we are happy- we feel the race we have been running has finally been ended- now we can move on with the cancer and papa's health - we just both believe that everything is going to be alright- we are happy to say good night even though we are apart -life seems so good again-
• someone asked me if it was helping me to write all this down and yes- it is helping even though it causes great sorrow-- I need to tell the story- not for me or papa but because it is part of papa's dash and I want others to see the blessings that we received- it is hard sometimes to see blessings in sorrow and even though it is hard to accept the sorrow I know that God had a good plan for us and that some good will come - if not today then another day--
• someday I think I will list the blessings in a row so you can see then better with out having to find them--LOL
• I hope you will stay with me as things will get worse before they get better- sort of like life is.........all the time.
• Just remember that the Lord was our shepherd,,,,,,,,